Welcome to my weekend coffee share, can I get you a cup of coffee or tea? I decided on a cup of coffee with an english muffin. I am out of sorts and I have to admit that this year so far has been a tough year for me. That being said I am trying to make the best of things, boy, I am having a hard time putting my thoughts to paper or to my blog as it were.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I am reading a great book on Boundaries written by Dr. Henry Cloud. My sweet sister sent it to me and I wish I had read this book years ago as my boundaries or lack of them with my family has caused some hurt feelings and complete misunderstandings. She also sent to me by Dr. Henry Cloud a book called Necessary Endings, which I have just started and I know I will be learning as time heals wounds a new way to be connected to my family members that I am having problems with. I am not going to share any more than this here other than to say I know time will heal wounds and I will continue to pray for healing.
If I am completely honest, I almost was going to give up blogging altogether. I so enjoyed what I have shared with my blogging experience but since this year has not been very friendly to me I am struggling with what I should share and what not to share. I have been thinking of starting a new blog but then I feel sad leaving or closing this blog. I am not sure what I want to do. This all weighs heavy on my mind as I struggle with all these thoughts and feelings which some of my feelings have been very painful.
I am in a better place this month and feel that I can finally write a blog post. I know life as we know it is hard. I know there are many hardships out there and we are all affected in one way or another by so much in our lives. I know there are also many affected by medical problems whether it be disease or mental illness’s it’s all out there and its here in my life as well. I guess what I am trying to say is we all struggle but try and make the best of our situations.
I know I have shared enough that most everyone will know that I am super optimistic and see life as a gift and I try and enjoy it to its fullest. Even though my heart aches, I want to share the beauty of my life and the world as I see it. I thank you for following my journey, even when my journey gets tough. I am going to share what’s been happening in my life (not the sad part) but what makes me happy. As I write this I have decided I will continue my blogging and keep this blog going as it is since I am able to share my thoughts and as I reread this it makes perfect sense to me. I have to admit writing is cathartic and makes me happy, and I so want to feel happy. ❤
I do not know why I feel guilty for wanting to feel happy. Because my family issues are so very close to my heart I feel like I should be miserable (believe me, I have been in such heart ache I just can’t keep functioning in so much pain) but being cut off by family members that should be a big part of your life is really hard to deal with and so I feel guilty for wanting to be me and enjoy the fun and great things about being alive! This is why it is so hard to share and write. But I need to move on with life and I can’t wallow in sorrow forever. I said I wasn’t going to share more but as you can see I need to figure out a way to get past the hurt and pain. There is a lot that will happen this year as we are hoping to relocate near my daughter. My hubby wants to wait until next year, and I am wanting to get there sooner. This will be an interesting year for all of us here. 🙂
What a segue as I could use a drink right about now! I rarely drink and had my first martini which was delicious with my daughter and hubby at a great restaurant called Firebirds as we were together for a birthday present to my hubby who will have another birthday next month. It took almost a year to get to the race track as my daughter bought tickets for her and my husband to drive race cars. As you can see he drove 4 laps in a Ferrari, he loved it and reached a top speed of 100 mph. My daughter drove an Audi and said she was not feeling it and didn’t drive it as fast. We had a great time together despite the family drama and I am so glad we made this happen. ❤
On our drive home the clouds and sunset were so beautiful. I have even more photos but thought I would share these two as I am not sure how many other people will enjoy the simple things like clouds. Where I live in southern California we do not get a ton of weather in a normal year. So when we get weather I am just in awe of the clouds and sky. Speaking of weather, that is one thing that has been really tough this year as we have had so much rain it has made it difficult to ride my horses. I really should not complain as I am not dealing with feet of snow, or cold freezing weather so I apologize to those living in the northern areas of their regions where ever that may be. I am happy we do not get snow.
My next segue with one of my favorite cloud photos was taken at the barn. I forgot about this photo, and when it popped into my mind I just had to share it and it’s a great way to talk and share all the things horsey. My horses bring so much to my life as they keep me grounded, they are my therapy as I see them each morning caring and loving on them. Here’s some photos of Murphy and Chloe!
They are doing well despite the rainy weather. They end up laying down or rolling in the wet shavings. I am having a hard time keeping a dry place for them. It’s all I can do to keep it dry under their shelters but neither one of my horses lay down under their shelters, go figure. They rather lay down in the wet stuff! So they get rather dirty, but it all brushes off when I groom them. I ride Chloe more often than Murphy, mostly because I can hop on her and ride out on the trail. Murphy needs training in the arena and because there is limited time in the mornings I have not been able to get on and ride very often the last few months.
Can I get you a refill? Sorry this is a rather long coffee share, since it’s been awhile I have more to share! 😀
We get a huge pooling of water in one corner of the arena. I have shared mirrored images before with Chloe and my other horse Zack. I didn’t think I would be getting any more cool photos with this lake/mirror affect as the weather has to be just right with the sun and clouds. I couldn’t believe my eyes when on Feb 26th the sun was hitting the water just right as Murphy stood in the perfect spot for the mirror affect! I snapped away photos, this one above I zoomed in and I will end with a shot further out that is really pretty. Murphy is a huge thoroughbred standing at 17.2hh (and growing). He is 5 years old this year and I decided when I adopted him that he would never be turned out with Chloe. She is 19 years old this year and has had her time out with other horses. I fear greatly that Murphy may accidentally injure Chloe if he was lose with her especially with his size. He enjoys his turnouts and is a happy horse. Chloe is very happy as well. They bring me much JOY! ❤
I am not the greatest at photography and one of these days I am going to invest in a real camera. The hard part about having said camera is to have it on hand for unusual and fun photos like my mirrored water photos! Haha, I think my phone photos are still nice enough to share and I hope you have enjoyed them. I thank Natalie for hosting the #weekendcoffeeshare as I finally am able to come out of my hiding place and start living my life again. It’s been a tough time, something that I do not take lightly and hope and pray for my family, healing for everyone. ❤ My new mantra, Keep on writing Diana!
Grateful, humbled, stoic, praying!