I can’t believe it’s May! My how the weeks fly by and I keep meaning to write every week and the time slips by and I am so busy I’m finding it difficult to fit everything into my days. My motto for this month is to STAY STRONG! I need to keep centered, and not let my thoughts stray to far to the future for as everyone knows the future is hard to see. No matter how hard we try, and I was raised with the attitude that you can do anything you set your mind too, it isn’t always that easy to get to your goals – if you have set goals. How do you handle crazy busy days? do you stop and give yourself a break? Stop and smell the roses? Stop and rest and regroup your thoughts?

I need to regroup my thoughts, reorganize them and start having smaller goals. What I mean is to set goals for my days off. Then when I conquer one goal, move to the next and so on and so forth because I find myself not accomplishing anything, thinking too far into the future, feeling sad about the future not coming to fruition. Like I can make changes instantly, NOT, it takes planning and I am finding myself feeling sorry for myself and not moving forward. I’m finding myself in stagnation.Ugh, a terrible feeling! How do you stay focused, on track and moving forward? Or is it just me, overwhelmed and trying to find my path? Hmm… Writing this is helping me focus! 😀

As I am sitting here writing this I am realizing that I have lost focus because I am putting others before me and worrying about these others has got me lost. I am talking about my grown children. I LOVE THEM so much that I want to live and be near all of them (which is impossible) and of course I want to be 100% available (which is impossible). I work a full-time job and of course have my own responsibilities and so how can I be available 100% of the time? It’s so crazy that I have gotten into this rut because I need to move forward and not be stagnant. I am realizing that I am there for my children and I am putting incredibly silly demands on my time! Oh dear, I need to realize there is only so much I can do, and only so many places I can be and still be HAPPY! AND that’s all I want for my children is HAPPINESS! ❤ ❤ ❤

STAYING STRONG is so important as I know how important my role as a mother, wife, co-worker and friend to others can be and I think setting smarter shorter achievable goals are not only more realistic but doable. I am going to try and cook more (I work crazy hours and so I don’t make dinners like I use to but I can use the crock pot and or plan and freeze meals to make life easier. Just takes planning). I need to plan and be more in the moment not only for my animals but my loved ones as well. I CAN DO THIS! My am I in a funk, haven’t felt this way in a long time. Holy smokes, maybe it’s just my age, I think they sometimes call this mid-life crisis?? Haha, maybe that’s what I am experiencing. I wouldn’t be surprised! I feel like I want to make a LIFE CHANGE, But how? Life is challenging, hard, fun, and I have always loved life to it’s fullest! I feel like I’m drowning a bit. My head is above water though and am feeling better by the minute!

I am hoping to set a goal to write each week. I sometimes overthink this process, get overwhelmed and so I don’t write anything. I also want to focus on my house and it’s needs. Who likes housework? Not me, but I shouldn’t be so neglectful. Not that we live in a pig sty, haha, even though I now have piggy’s in my family room, but I can do more and help out more. I did rake the backyard last week to help my husband, so I am doing more each week. I don’t want to apologize for my blog post. I don’t feel like my sunny self, but it’s coming back I promise. But I am human, and want to be real. I don’t want anyone to think my life is perfect, far from it and I know sometimes reading things that may be sad isn’t fun, but I don’t think this is that sad just not my bubbly self. I’ll be back, and you know I LOVE my life, my family and all of you that take the time to read my posts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ❤

STAYING STRONG! Always,

-Diana