Saintly

via Daily Prompt: Saintly

I think that this daily word prompt makes me think of Christmas and what it means to give and to try to be even just a little bit saintly.  Synonyms include being holy, godly, pious, religious and the list goes on and although we as humans are not a saint I do believe that a fair share of us would like to lead our lives that would include saintly good morals, innocent and to be sinless. But we are sinners and we do not even come close to living guiltless lives.  We are not spotless, pure or uncorrupted, but we try.  We pray for forgiveness, those that pray and I do believe that our souls will be saved even if we are non-believers – that is me. I know there are lots of opinions and I am not writing to debate religion or saintly people. But this word does evoke emotions of a blessed world and an even hopeful world as we approach Christmas.

I Love Christmas and all that it means. I love the holiday season. Thanksgiving as our family gets together and shares bread and great food. I realize the holidays are painful for some. I have lost both my parents many years ago both ten days apart from each other at the end of this busy season. My dad passed on January 1st and my mom ten days later, how incredibly sad. And it took me years not to let mother’s day and father’s day make me dreadfully sad since mine are gone. It took me years to realize it’s okay when others can call mom or dad and ask for their advice or opinions. I just forge ahead, keep going and making a strong family bond with my children and be there for them. I hope I represent good parenting or the best I can be for them. I try to remain level-headed and steady. I love my family so much, and this word is far from me but I try to be saintly for them.  ❤

As I write this and reminisce, it makes me think of my sister’s and brother. These beautiful people mean so much to me and we all live far apart and so it makes being REALLY close difficult. We have social media which has made it extremely helpful to stay in touch. I’m so thankful for this as traveling seems to not happen as often as I would like. I love to travel but money and time are my enemy. I am hoping to make traveling to visit them all a priority in the coming years. They all have grown children with most of them with grandchildren. Oh how the years fly by as they are all growing so fast. The grandchildren of my siblings don’t really know me since we don’t see each other, this makes me a little sad but it is what it is, I’m sure they know about me – their great Aunt! All I can hope for is to travel more! ❤

I’ll wrap this up by saying that I think there is a little tiny bit of saintliness in each and every person on this Earth.  That somewhere in us we can be great and if we wanted we could change the world! I think if we could focus on this saintly piece in our hearts we could do so much, but it gets lost in all the other stuff we jam into our busy lives and our already overflowing brains. Dig deep and feel saintly, do something kind even if it is a smile. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve made smile when you smile at them and how this warms my heart. Sometimes the little things are the most important. I hope this holiday season brings joy and happiness to all, and that the saints come marching home! (I couldn’t resist!) ❤ ❤ ❤

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Healing

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I’m finally feeling healed. I’m so happy as my physical therapy is going well. I have full mobility, almost, just some elbow issues from the tendons needing to be stretched. I’m getting there, I can finally make a pony tail and I actually can braid my hair but it is too short to braid right now. ( I made a small braid just to try it and I was so amazed I could do it!) My scar is pretty minimal and my swelling has finally all gone away.  It took almost 3 months to heal completely.  I guess that isn’t that long, but it was a long painful 3 months! I see my physical therapist next week and she thinks she will be discharging me as I’m doing so well. I imagine I will continue working at home like I do to keep stretching and strengthening. I see the surgeon for the last time next week as well for a final farewell. If he takes another x-ray which I believe he will I’m going to ask if I can take a photo, I would like to have it for posterity if nothing else since I will live with the plate in my arm forever.  🙂

I will ask my doctor if my nerves will heal in time as I do suffer from nerve issues in my hand. It is the last painful thing I deal with along with my elbow if I try to flex my elbow to my shoulder which I need to keep stretching.  All my fingers hurt when I make a fist. They tingle a lot too, so I wonder if I have some nerve damage. Maybe it’s the nerves healing, lets pray as I’m sure in time this will all go away, I’m hoping. I definitely screwed my arm up badly so its no surprise it is not 100% yet, maybe in a year all will be normal. At least I can use my arm, and I’m lifting and carrying more and more with this once injured arm.

I can’t complain, it’s just not exactly the same and may never be after a catastrophic break and dislocation. I’m also very thankful the scar is minimal and that I am able to do all I love to do. I’ve been riding my horses with no issues, I am only walking on them (okay, and trotting a little bit in arena!) they are older and well-behaved. I have been so busy lately that I’m lucky if I ride once a week, so am hoping to get more riding in soon. I have to thank my family for all their care and patience. My coworkers are all amazing too, pitching in and helping me so much, they are all amazing!  ❤

I have to say that I have pondered at great lengths as to why this has happened. I know it’s an accident and accidents are just that, something that just happens.  But my brain needs to find a reason to the chaos, and to keep me focused on getting better and looking forward and not be afraid of accidents.  When something like this happens you definitely do not feel so invincible. All my life I felt like I can do anything, and now I have to think first instead of just reacting or maybe do or take a step in the wrong direction!

I ended up having a preventative test run through my insurance that they pay for called a bone density test. It turns out that I have Osteopenia, which is the beginnings of osteoporosis. I need to take calcium and do more impact exercises to help keep my bones strong. I was counseled and they had a ton of questions, and in the end my fall was from a height and so it was deemed an accident and not weak bone fracture. I fell on my hip too and they x-rayed and it was fine so my bones aren’t that brittle yet.

So I’m looking at this accident as a red flag. That if this didn’t happen I would not have found out that I am at risk for bone loss (It’s very typical at my age and my nationality) and so now I can be preventative and work even harder at getting the exercise and vitamins I need to live a long healthy life. I have to find some reason and this is a great reason in my book. I’m thankful for this knowledge, and am glad I am healing.  😀

I’ve come a long way baby!! ❤

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